Analysis of the Essay Example

This essay provides a comprehensive historical account of the United States' acquisition of Hawaii, detailing the multifaceted factors that led to annexation. It moves chronologically, from early missionary influence to the strategic considerations of the Spanish-American War, offering a well-supported argument about the drivers of this expansion.

Thesis and Claim

The central thesis is that the annexation of Hawaii was not a spontaneous event but a deliberate process driven by a 'confluence of economic ambition, strategic imperatives, and a shifting geopolitical landscape.' The essay consistently supports this claim by demonstrating how American business interests, the desire for military advantage, and the prevailing expansionist ideology intertwined to facilitate the overthrow of the monarchy and eventual annexation. The claim is clear and directly addressed throughout the text.

Evidence and Support

The essay draws on specific historical details to substantiate its claims. It references the Reciprocity Treaty of 1875, the "Bayonet Constitution" of 1887, the role of the USS Boston and Minister Stevens in the 1893 coup, and the Newlands Resolution of 1898. Mentioning figures like Sanford B. Dole and Alfred Thayer Mahan adds credibility. While this example doesn't include citations, a real academic essay would require specific references to primary documents (like Queen Liliuokalani's appeals or business correspondence) and scholarly secondary sources to fully meet academic standards.

Organization and Structure

The essay is logically structured, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main argument. Subsequent paragraphs develop distinct aspects of the annexation process: early economic influence, the political impact of treaties and constitutions, the 1893 overthrow, the strategic role during wartime, and finally, the formal annexation and its consequences. This chronological and thematic approach allows for a clear progression of ideas, making the complex history accessible. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, guiding the reader through the narrative.

Tone and Style

The tone is formal, objective, and analytical, appropriate for a historical essay. It avoids overly emotional language while still acknowledging the negative impact on the Hawaiian people. The use of precise historical terminology and clear sentence structures contributes to its academic quality. The language is accessible yet sophisticated, suitable for an undergraduate-level analysis.

Revision Opportunities

While strong, the essay could be enhanced by: * Deeper engagement with Hawaiian perspectives: While the impact on native Hawaiians is mentioned, incorporating more direct voices or detailed accounts of their resistance and perspectives would strengthen the analysis. * Explicitly addressing counterarguments: Acknowledging and refuting potential counterarguments (e.g., arguments that annexation was inevitable or beneficial) could further solidify the thesis. * More granular analysis of specific events: Expanding on the details of the "Bayonet Constitution" or the negotiations surrounding the Newlands Resolution could add depth. * Inclusion of citations: As noted, academic essays require rigorous citation of sources to demonstrate the basis of the claims and allow for verification.

  • Clear, arguable thesis statement.
  • Sufficient and relevant evidence from credible sources.
  • Logical organization and smooth transitions.
  • Objective and formal tone.
  • Critical analysis, not just description.
  • Consideration of multiple perspectives.
  • Proper citation of all sources.
Example of Integrating Primary Source Material (Hypothetical)

Consider how the following hypothetical excerpt from Queen Liliuokalani's memoirs might be integrated: 'The actions of the Committee of Safety, backed by foreign arms, were a direct assault on the sovereignty of my people. My decision to yield authority was not an admission of defeat but a strategic choice to prevent the massacre of my subjects, trusting in the justice of the American people to right this grievous wrong.' This quote could be used to illustrate the Queen's perspective on the overthrow, directly supporting the essay's point about the erosion of Hawaiian sovereignty and the appeal made to the U.S. government.