Analysis of the Essay: The Business of America and the Presidents of the 1920s

This section provides a detailed breakdown of the sample essay, focusing on its structure, argumentation, use of evidence, and potential areas for refinement. Understanding these elements can help students construct their own well-supported and coherent academic arguments.

Thesis Statement and Argument

The essay presents a clear and arguable thesis in its introduction: 'This essay will argue that the pro-business philosophies and specific legislative actions of these three presidents [Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover] were instrumental in driving the decade's economic boom, while also laying the groundwork for future economic challenges.' This thesis is effective because it makes a specific claim about causality (presidential actions driving the boom and future problems) and sets up a comparative analysis of three presidencies. The argument is sustained throughout the essay, with each president's section contributing to the overall claim about the impact of their policies.

Structure and Organization

The essay follows a logical chronological and thematic structure. It begins with an introduction that establishes the context and presents the thesis. The body paragraphs are organized by presidential administration: Harding, then Coolidge, then Hoover. Within each section, the essay discusses the key policies and philosophies of that president and their connection to the broader business climate. This allows for a clear comparison and contrast of their approaches. The essay concludes by synthesizing the arguments and reflecting on the broader legacy of the era. Transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, using phrases like 'largely continued and amplified,' 'who succeeded Harding,' and 'while Hoover is often associated with' to link ideas and maintain flow.

Use of Evidence and Detail

The essay incorporates specific details to support its claims. For instance, it mentions Andrew Mellon as Secretary of the Treasury and references the Revenue Act of 1921, highlighting specific legislative actions. It also names key industries that grew during the period (automobiles, aviation, radio) and refers to concepts like 'laissez-faire,' 'deregulation,' and 'consumerism.' The essay also touches upon the consequences of these policies, such as income inequality and speculation, providing a nuanced perspective. While the essay provides good detail, a more in-depth academic paper might include direct quotes from primary sources (speeches, documents) or cite specific economic data (GDP growth, unemployment rates, stock market performance) to further strengthen its arguments.

Tone and Style

The tone is formal, objective, and analytical, appropriate for academic writing. The language is precise, avoiding jargon where possible but using relevant historical and economic terms correctly. Sentence structure varies, contributing to readability. The essay maintains a balanced perspective, acknowledging both the successes and the shortcomings of the policies discussed. It avoids overly strong or emotional language, focusing instead on presenting a reasoned analysis.

Revision Opportunities

  • Deeper Source Integration: While specific policies are mentioned, incorporating direct quotes from presidential speeches, contemporary economic analyses, or scholarly secondary sources would add significant weight.
  • Quantitative Data: Including specific statistics on economic indicators (e.g., industrial output growth, stock market indices, income distribution figures) would provide more concrete evidence for the claims about economic boom and inequality.
  • Broader Context: Briefly touching upon the global economic context of the 1920s or the impact of technological advancements beyond just naming industries could enrich the analysis.
  • Counterarguments: Acknowledging and briefly refuting potential counterarguments (e.g., arguments that external factors were more significant drivers of the boom) could strengthen the thesis.
  • Nuance in Hoover's Section: While the essay notes Hoover's initial adherence to pro-business policies, a more detailed exploration of his evolving responses to the Depression could be beneficial, perhaps distinguishing his actions more sharply from Coolidge's.
Integrating Specific Policy Details

Instead of just saying 'tax cuts,' a more detailed sentence might read: 'The Revenue Act of 1921, championed by Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon, significantly lowered the top marginal income tax rate from 73% to 58% and reduced corporate taxes, reflecting the administration's belief that lower tax burdens would stimulate investment and economic activity.' This level of detail anchors the argument in concrete policy decisions.